ALASKAN MACHO

      By

Michael Edwin Q.

I went to visit a few of my friends in Alaska last month. I told them I wanted to fit in with the locals, to be a real – Mountain Man.

“There are three things you got to do to be a real Mountain Man in Alaska,” they said. “You’ve got to drink a quart of straight whiskey, hug an Eskimo girl for three hours without her parents catching you, and shoot a full-grown grizzly bear.”

“No sweat!” I said, walking off into the tundra.

I came back four hours later. My clothes were ripped to shreds and I was bleeding.

“Well, that’s two down,” I announced. “Now, where’s that Eskimo girl I’m supposed to shoot?”

END
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